Am I Crazy?

Am I crazy for wanting to make my own household products, hygiene products, be more organic/natural and home school my future children? Sometimes I feel like people look at me like I have 3 heads when they hear me say these things. I guess because a few years ago you wouldn't have heard these things come from my mouth? I don't know, but ever since I was introduced to these alternatives, I've fallen in love with them. I've always liked the idea of being a stay at home wife/mother, but with all the violence in the schools these days and the falling standards of education, home schooling seems more and more like what I want to do so I know what my children will be learning. I realize there's so much in the world today, toxins and chemicals, that it's impossible to stay away from all of it, but if I can control even a little bit, I'm going to control what I consciously put into my body for as long as I possibly can. So, I ask again, am I crazy? Maybe. Crunchy? Possibly. But, I'm ok with that.

Is It Even Worth It?

Sunday I was over a friends' house and we were talking. Talking about health, weight loss, religion, the past, the future, everything. It had been a long time since we had talked and a long time since I'd talked to someone about these things. It was nice. She's on Disability because she has anxiety, PTSD and depression...I think I got that right, if not, I'm sorry! Anyway, I mentioned the fact that I think I have depression, among other things, and I had thought about seeing if I could apply for Disability (it was actually my uncle's idea). It's not that I don't want to work, I want to, but it seems like all the jobs I've had have made me absolutely miserable and they just push me deeper into depression, no matter what. Maybe it's the jobs I'm taking, maybe it's me. Who knows. She asked me if I think I have depression and I told her maybe. She asked me if I have certain symptoms, soreness, being tired and emotional, etc. and I do. I'm concerned though that if I start down this path I'll end up going to a counselor and they'll want to put me on some kind of pill to try and "fix" me. I've been on a major organic kick lately. I've been cooking healthier, giving up synthetic medication for natural remedies, using homemade deodorant and toothpaste and using pure Castille soap in the shower. It's all made a big difference and I don't want to back slide. I know there are lots of side effects to taking these pills too, that's another reason I don't want to take them. She also told me that if I were to do this I would need a lawyer. And that they would put me through all these hoops and I'd get denied the first time, but that I can appeal the decision. I just don't know if it's worth it. I also know that people on Disability get a bad rap. Especially people that don't have anything OBVIOUSLY wrong with them, like physically, like my uncle with his amputation, or my dad getting injured at work. I don't want anyone to think I'm lazy either. I really do think there's something wrong with me, but maybe not. Who the heck knows. Maybe if I'm this torn about it it's not worth it. I still want to make and sell jewelry and I'd love to teach once I finish my degree, but I also want to use my Special Ed degree to home school my children, should I ever meet a guy, get married and have a couple of kids. Though even that's seeming less and less likely, but I try not to think about it too much.

And I'm Distracted

I got up this morning and got a lot done today. I haven't gotten around to planting the rest of the seeds for my garden yet, but that will get done soon. I have dinner in the fridge and the rest will get done later. I'm making BBQ chicken, green beans and mashed potatoes. Oh, and I think rolls sound good too. Don't you agree? I've had my ear buds in all day with my school textbook playing, trying to absorb the information as I go. I even had it playing in the car as I was out running around earlier. Now, I'm sitting here trying to get my homework done and I can't help but think...why? I don't like school. I find it boring and most of all frustrating. I can't get interested in anything I'm supposed to be learning. We have discussion postings due each week, quizzes and two papers all within a 5 week class. Honestly, I read enough to get the work done, and that's it! I can't remember half of what I read, thank God all the quizzes are open book or I'd be a mess! I've tried multiple times in the past to finish college, but I just keep wondering why. I'm not good at it. I don't like studying and even when I work my butt off, turning in each assignment on time, giving it 120%, all I generally manage is a C average. I'm not very good at putting my thoughts and opinions into words and I'm also not very good at taking others' thoughts and opinions and putting them into my own words. I have so many other things I'd love to spend my time doing, even a part time job would be nice, even though I have a million other things going on on any given day. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I need to know what to do here! Do I stay in school, or do I call it quits once ans for all? I know I'd like to take classes and become a Sign Language Interpreter, there are classes for that offered at the community college near me. If I could just SELL SOME JEWELRY I might be able to afford to take classes and find a job doing that. People say they love my work, but they never buy it. No, I'm not begging or complaining that people aren't buying my jewelry. I do kind of wonder why though. I know money is tight for people, but we all deserve something nice for ourselves, don't we? That's why it's nice to have some pretty jewelry in your closet to wear with the nice clothes you occasionally get to wear. And the fact that it's handmade by an artist you possibly know personally, that's even better! I love supporting small businesses and I try to as much as I can. I just hope others will do the same for me. Anyway, this has turned into a total ramble session and that's not what I meant to do at all. I just don't know what to do anymore. Decisions, decisions...

It's Been A While...

I know, I know, most of you probably thought I would never post again. But, I'm back! I've been going through some health issues and I've finally gotten things on a good track and I'm happy. I'm striving for a more natural and organic lifestyle. I've been shopping at Whole Foods and just today I started growing some tomatoes as well as an herb garden. I've got some basil, oregano, thyme, sage, cilantro, parsley, chamomile, and others that I can't remember right now, LOL. It's been a lot of work, but if it all grows I'll be over the moon! I'm still making jewelry, but I've been dealing with some things here at home so I haven't been as active with that lately. I learned how to do Kumihimo and I've also started making polymer clay pendants and I'm going to be working with beaded crochet too. Those are going to be the main focus of my jewelry from now on. Below are some pictures of what I've done so far today and I'll post more of what I do tomorrow. Til then, enjoy!! 

This is my Topsy Turvy tomato planter. I didn't realize at first that there was no tomato plant in the box, so I went back to the store and bought one! LOL

I'm going to add soil to this to fill it up. The soil in it originally was full of stones and stuff so I dug a bunch of it out. Now I'm wondering if I need to put a barrier down before I put the new soil on top. I'm pretty sure the hole goes all the way down to the ground which is like 4 1/2 feet.

These seed packets will get planted in starter pots tomorrow and planted in the planter above once they grow some.

This is a ready-made type planter. Once they start growing I'll put them into the big planter too. I might even add more stuff once I see how everything is doing.